~Perfect Imperfection~

The mind is blank little prickles of post orgasm fuzziness just about making their exit Its depressing lying here with you my invisible lover. Questionable fluid drives down my body in little rivulets its cold, but my blanket is on the floor somewhere between the bed and the bathroom dragged sometime between my first vomit and your last piss. Unidentifiable forms morph their way across the ceiling taunting but eliciting no recognition. Limbs ache, skin chafes and breaks, and the first recognizable veins of scarlet fluid make their way down the oddly sloping floor. The room begins a steady descent into darkness edges first Time thaws, the mind loosens, but not enough. The energy from my body is everywhere but within me I see it take form; the first recognizable thing in months, and strangely fascinating to the slipping soul. The blackness envelops now. Indistinguishable between coagulating blood and a dried out heart. Its time to go home.

Dear Board, This is a plea. A plea begging you to help a whole bunch of us students here at Trinity, the chance to go out into the world, armed with a skill we really want to show off. That we really want to work on. That we want to craft our lives around. You see, there is a large enough section of us here, who see life not through two, but three eyes. The third being our camera lens. It’s a fantastic feeling knowing that with a blink of this third eye, we have the power to transport people to wherever we want them to be; the jungles of the Amazon...a photoshoot in Paris...or perhaps a voyeuristic glimpse into the lives of the rich and famous around the world, depending on what we choose to photograph. For shutterbugs like us, its virtually impossible to concentrate on much else, when the tug of our third eye is compelling us to look at things so differently. Would our lecture halls look better from the back or the middle row, or from behind the lecturer? Would an abstraction of the rows of seating make a beautiful image? Which student’s expression would best bring out the mood of the class? So, for those of us who spend more time looking through our camera lens than our own two eyes, the most natural progression, would be to make a career in photography! And Trinity, has the means and resources to make our dreams come true. By sanctioning photography as a full-time course, you would be making the right decision. By giving so many of us, the chance to major in what we really want to do, you would be helping both us and the college, because armed with the added knowledge a course would give us, there is so much we could do in the world outside. Why is photography different from other hobbies? Because photography is used EVERYWHERE. It’s what breathes life into every mode of new age communication. You require images in books, magazines, websites, print ads, hoardings, television, art galleries, weddings, architecture, pamphlets..the list could go on and on..In fact, the truth of the matter is, that communication is changing such, that in the next ten years, words will be less valued than images. Even today, a writer gets paid less per article/story, than a photographer per photograph! Photographers are in demand everywhere. That’s the good option. Our other option is, to do a regular degree, get into a job that pays us, but we despise, and eke out our lives, wishing we had got that extra push just when we needed it the most. A lot of us don’t have the resources to go to big, fancy photography schools, and we are relying on you to help us! So help train us in the skill of tomorrow! Give us a major in Photography. We promise to make good of it. Because we recognize and value the fact that everyone can take pictures...but not everyone can be a photographer. **************************************************************************** I was told it worked. Let's hope it really did!!

I can think of perhaps no one but my late maternal grandfather who fits the bill of the “single most important influence” in my life. It is with him that I have experienced some of the most fulfilling and complete moments of my life. ‘Nana’ was a man of strange contradictions-physically powerful yet as gentle as could be; a rationalist who was deeply spiritual and God fearing. Blunt and outspoken on many issues yet ever considerate. Careful not to hurt others Conservative and correct in behaviour, yet liberal in his views. To me he was God; embodying everything I felt a ‘perfect human being’ should be.I doubt there ever passed a day without his telling me about the role of love, peace and truth in our lives. Every lesson would be taught through anecdotes from his own life.And I the ever doting grand-daughter would sit spellbound for hours…absorbing, understanding , learning. Looking back , the one thing that struck me most deeply was the fact that this man, born pre-partition , having fought with the Indian army during the 1965 Indo-Pak war, had an equal number of friends on both sides of the border. If questioned, he was quick to remind me; “After all….do you not make up after fighting with your brother?” And thus was instilled in me an unshakeable belief that notwithstanding our geographic, political, language or idealogical barriers, at the most basic, human level, we are all the same. And like him, I have grown to believe that peace is not only imperitive, but is the only way, for peace is the precursor to progress.Some of my grandfather’s favourite quotes ,the legacy of which I proudly carry forth today are: “I have the strength of ten because my heart is pure.” “With charity for all and malice towards none.” I share too, the conviction that the arts can be used as catalysts in peace initiatives and nation building. I believe that trans-cultural exchanges lead to a deeper appreciation of a people and their way of life. The development of mutual trust leads to the forging of personal friendships which can ultimately add up to peace between nations.

Iridescent clouds, bloodshot skies, and a heavily vignetted horizon. Boiling blackness rumbles just beyond The anticipation of wet relief is exciting; my face upturns, to greet the moisture soaked wind. It smells like luck. Maybe 2010 will be a better year after all.

Vedika is a jackass.Confirmed.

Getting back in touch with old flames, leaves a funny feeling in the chest. Not a feeling I would put a name on, but a feeling nonetheless...

Top learnings of the week: 1. People who cook yummy smelling food right next to a jogging track are evil. 2. Women behave in the strangest ways while around men who like them. 3. I never should have dated someone who has such scant regard for people in general. 4. I am still, somehow, dating someone with scant regard for people in general. 5. Relationships are only about finding a better fit each time. 6. Yummy wine = overindulgence = a crappy hangover. 7. Sony Ericcsons are the slowest fucking phones in the history of cellphones. 8. I now only love people to the extent they love me. 9. I have become a jaded old fart. 10. Writing, once again, is getting easier and easier to do. 11. You don’t *have* to look like a withered old hag at 38! 12. Working out is the miracle cure for ennui induced underperformance. 13. Networking is soon going to be the single most significant activity in my life. I better get used to it real quick. 14. A kiss is worth more than a thousand words. 15. I question myself wayyyy too much for my own good.

So happy up here :) :)

I will soon have a registered entity in my name!!!!!! :D Professional Pet Photography, here I come!